“The degree to which a person can grow is in direct proportion to the amount of truth that he can accept about himself without running away.” ~Leland val van de wall
As some of you know, I’ve been experiencing a lot of exhaustion. There’s a physical cause to it. Yes, I'm working with a practitioner. All of that is real and true, yet, even so, I'm always looking for how we’re manifesting our current experiences.
This morning I asked myself: “if we create our outcomes because we’re always first cause… what am I doing to create this? How am I causing this?”
To answer this, first I look at are my results. What’s actually happening right now? What are my actual results right now?
I step out of the story and go super neutral with myself.
When I asked myself this, I identified many results, BUT the thing that dropped in for me was this: I was getting attention from being exhausted.
Now isn't that interesting?! ;-)
It caused me to recognize a whole pattern from my childhood where, when I got physically ill, I got attention from my father. It wasn't obvious until I really looked at what the result was from this current exhaustion. “Look at that! I'm getting attention. Interesting!!”
Zero judgment, zero shame, zero guilt. (All of that just keeps your patterns locked in place and doesn’t allow you to change them.)
Now, what do you do with it once you recognize the pattern?
You act differently and immediately.
You can still get the outcome that you want but you don’t have to be beholden to the patterns.
In this case, I will take different actions to build connection, which is what I truly want. I won’t use the exhaustion as a tool for that now that I’m consciously aware of it.
Yet you're only able to do this when you get truly honest with yourself and look at your results. How much truth are you willing to accept? How much growth do you want? ;-)