Creating what you want in both your personal and professional life requires being clear on what you desire and having an unwavering expectation that it will happen.

You can’t want the new initiative to work… and think the person running the project is going to drop the ball.

You can’t want to meet your quarterly numbers… and think you don’t have the marketing to support it.

You can’t want to hire that killer employee… and think that good people are hard to find. 

These are all examples of expectations that are in opposition to what you actually want, which I imagine on more generally is ease and flow in quickly creating what you desire. 

Right now I’ve caught myself doing this with my weight. Calling myself out. :) 

I’d love to let go of those 10-15 pounds that have creeped on in the last few months.

It’s not that I don’t think it can happen. Of course it can. 

It’s that I have the expectation… 

That it’s going to be hard.

That I have to struggle.

That I will have to deny myself.

And this I know doesn’t work. You get what you expect, not what you say that you want.

So in this case, I’m simply going to get the hard, the struggle, and the denial, not the svelte body. No bueno!

I’ve had to work through contradictory expectations in so many areas of my life and business. Here’s a sampling of places where in the past I’ve wanted something yet thought it was going to be hard to make it happen: 

Taking Fridays off.
Doing marketing in an aligned way. (No bro marketing!)
Charging higher fees while working fewer hours.
Being professional and taken seriously, while still feeling sexy.
Making money without dysregulating my nervous system.
Running a business while having a lit up, hot relationship.
Finding ambitious, entrepreneurial minded friends.

I’m happy to say that I’ve created all that I’ve desired in all of these and more.

But in each case, I initially thought it was going to be hard and I had to overcome my own contradictory expectations before I was able to manifest the outcome I wanted with ease.

This requires aligning our desires and expectations and is part of the Exquisite Life toolkit I mentioned last week. 

So how do we better align our desires and expectations? 

• Get really honest with yourself. Where are you actually expecting something you don’t want? Your spoken or unspoken fears, doubts, worries, and complaints related to a topic will show you exactly what your expectations are.
• Bring moment to moment awareness to when you are expecting in opposition to your desires. This can’t be an afterthought, you must notice yourself in the act.  
• In that moment, shift the conversation you’re having in your head or out loud to what you desire. Find an outcome that you can actually believe.

Because the truth is… it’s easy to let go of weight, just like it was easy to take Fridays off.

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